Daily Archives: August 12, 2007

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Unusual Deaths

When I was a kid, I fell in love with a book called The Grim Reaper’s Book of Days which chronicled extraordinary and gruesome historical deaths in great detail for every day of the year, including your birthday. Tonight StumbleUpon showed me this Wikipedia site about unusual deaths. These lists favor ironical, horrific, comic, and bizarre accidental deaths. I find them fascinating, because I don’t have enough to worry about. If I died tomorrow, I would probably make the list. “Blogger blogs about dying and bites it the day after her post.” Maybe I won’t leave the house.

“2002: Richard Sumner, a British artist suffering from schizophrenia, disappeared and was not located again until three years later when his skeleton was discovered handcuffed to a tree in a remote forest in Wales. Police investigators determined the death was a suicide, with Sumner securing himself in the handcuffs and throwing the keys out of reach.”

Let’s Kill Them All

This Vanity Fair article will make you sick to your stomach. If you stare at the photograph of Kevin Federline, Pete Wentz, Steve Aoki, Benji Madden, Cisco Adler, and Joel Madden long enough, you will definitely lose your breakfast.

I Am a Soccer Mom

Last night I had a nightmare that I couldn’t finish my shopping at a Super Wal-Mart. Every time I thought I could check out, I thought of something I needed at the other side of the store. Then a bunch of assholes were in front of me in line. Then I needed a special kind of milk. Then I saw some broccoli on sale. It took me hours to get out of there. The climactic part of the dream, the part that woke me up in a cold sweat, was when I realized the day after the shopping trip that I had left all my groceries in the hot car.