For a few days Jennifer has been collecting petitions on the Downtown Mall, advocating removal of the offensive Lewis/Clark/Sacagawea statue on West Main and Ridge. I imagine she has been attracting a lot of interest to her cause because a) She is Downtown during lunch rush; b) She has a lot of friends and supporters behind her; and c) She is wearing some kind of garish 80s prom gown and her hair is dyed crimson and purple.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the protesting Jennifer, my aunt Deliah was upstairs at City Hall peering through her office blinds at the scene on the mall below, going “What the fuck?” My family jokes that Deliah should start her own private detective agency because she always knows everyone’s business. The statue affair was no exception. Deliah quickly got on the ground to see what was going on. After citing the protesters for violations of city code, Deliah proceeded to grill the women on their motives. Not satisfied with their answers, Deliah decided that she should be the voice of public reason every lunch hour, dissenting against the dissenters.
Here is where Darren comes in. This afternoon D made his way downtown to get lunch as usual when he ran into his sister Jennifer in a prom dress and my aunt Deliah in her city uniform having a heated debate about Sacagawea. Before he realized what was going on, he said “Deliah, have you met my sister Jennifer? Jennifer, have you met Wistar’s aunt Deliah?” They suddenly realized that the other was not just a random crazy person on the Downtown Mall, and that they had a piece of common ground.
Did anyone bear witness to this? I want quotes.
I think this is funny because my beloved, strong-willed aunt and my boyfriend’s amazing, equally strong-willed sister, were anonymously sparring on the mall about the symbolism of a Native American woman who died 95 years ago. I think Sacagawea would have been proud of both of them.
Actually when I passed the scene, your aunt was haranguing a lady who accompanied Jennifer, not Jen herself. I walked up, stood there for a moment, oblivious as ever, wanting to say hi to Deliah, thinking she’d like to meet my sister. So I introduced them, sensing the awkwardness in a split second, then began to walk away, hoping peace was made. I suspect the awkwardness quickly spread to Deliah because she called after me: “I was just egging them on!” I didn’t know if that was a brag or an apology, or if egging them on meant encouraging them or trying to rattle them. It was one of my rare peacekeeping efforts and it was only somewhat intentional!
195 years ago.
writers: they’re so bad at math.
Electronics writers: they’re so know-it-all.
Honestly? I think this maybe one of the best commentaries on the whole mother-fucking thing. Plus, I love, love, love the idea of Darren As Peacemaker™. Sorry I have no quotes for you.
seus bosta sou o brasil é o melhor!!!!