The big game

I’ve been carbo-loading for days (maybe weeks), so I think I’m finally ready for the big soccer game tomorrow. A steady diet of mashed potatoes, macaroni, pizza, beer, and cookies always serves me well in competitive situations. However there has been a fingernail or an almond or something stuck in my throat for 24 hours now, and it’s throwing me off. Every time I swallow it’s like getting bitten by a little bug on my esophagus. Perhaps during play tomorrow I won’t swallow; I will spit. There’s nothing that symbolizes victory more than a ponytailed, spitting girl who likes to run around and kick people in the nuts.

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