Things I am embarrassed about today

a) I spent an hour on a blog post last night, but it meandered from World War II to Britney Spears to T.C. Boyle and by the time I was done writing I realized that I had written about absolutely nothing.

b) Today I drove around town running errands with my windows open because it was so warm. Only at my third stoplight did I realize that I was blasting my audio book about porcupine sex. I’m sure it was thrilling for my fellow travelers.

c) The professor I work for reminded me today that in college I had emailed him some of my poetry. I was mortified. I recently reread these undergrad poems and they are raw, personal, and badly written – not exactly the glimpse into my subconscious that I want my employer to have taken.

d) I am afraid to post blog entries. I am afraid because I put my URL in the personal statement of my application to graduate school. What was I thinking? Now I will imagine my academic future hinging on each post. Learned professors might be sitting in front of their computers thinking, “Ew. Ballet porn? We don’t want this girl in our program.” My psychological helper person says that I’m a troublemaker. But isn’t that the kind of asshole everyone should want in a classroom?

e) I did not grow out my nails while the BBF was in Africa (I think his plane has taken off from the continent by now). But they are polished and well moisturized. My New Year’s resolution to partake in a nightly dessert of 50 sit-ups also failed, but that is nothing to be embarrassed about. I tend to lose weight while the BBF is away because when left to my own devices, I just consume red wine and chocolate for dinner. I worked at Ben & Jerry’s years ago and I lost weight then as well. All I ate was sample cups of ice cream and bananas meant for splits.

f) I’m not embarrassed about anything else. I actually feel pretty good. After two glasses of wine, I’m not even reluctant to admit that I watched Hot Rod with SNL’s Andy Samberg last night. I can’t wait for my boy to come home and return me to a healthy state of nightly vegetables, serious documentary films, and ideal companionship.

9 Thoughts on “Things I am embarrassed about today

  1. PS The audiobook, if anyone is curious, is about more than porcupine sex. It’s called The Inner Circle by T.C. Boyle, and it got me to Georgia and back. If you’re taking a long road trip, I recommend listening to a novel about sex. It will keep you awake. I retract this advice if you’re driving with your parents.

  2. WWII rocks!. Not many women appreciate it.

  3. Not many men describe WWII as rocking. 🙂

  4. Just the study of airplanes and many tanks. You’re welcome.

  5. Well I can’t imagine admissions officers would tumble across comments such as this! Ha! A-ha, haha!

    More’s the putty, for if they delved so deep they would learn of our long discussions (carried through postal mail, of course) of the iterations of metaphysical characteristics made manifest in physical descriptions in Anna Karenina; also when you made clear to me the richly symbolic significance of food as sensual object in the novel, ie., Oblonsky sloppily consuming oysters, also, your summary analysis of these thematic concerns as a secondary draw for readers when the novel was placed popular TV host Oprah Winfrey’s book list, though they were obscured by the novel’s scandalous/accessible/primary appeal as a tale of appetites (if you will).

    My this “weblog” does show your skill at bonding contemporary culture with the finer things! So contemporary, such an asset to any graduate program, non?

    Note: Please consider this you graduate school recommendation.

    Note: Hello? Is there anyone at home? Nick, come home from work. I’m afraid I’ve gone a bit mad here with my computer personalities.

  6. You have gone so delightfully mad, my dear!

    The next installment of my epistolary literary analysis of Anna Karenina will be sent to you in Brooklyn today. Working title: Frou-Frou: What a Stupid Name for a Horse.

  7. Ummmm….. the return of your BBF will lead to eating more green vegetables? Do you still have the same BBF?

    I would like more posts about jesus, please.

  8. Christos Vangelopoulos on January 16, 2008 at 10:31 am said:

    hi…
    i recently read a letter you wrote me from france in 2003. i love everything about it… the envelope bordered in red and blue stripes… your handwriting… your words… i want more letters. i will always love you and everything you do. i’ve been writing in the book you gave me for my birthday… it’s filling up nicely with my despair, hopes, etc. and a few drawings too. thank you!

  9. Christos Vangelopoulos on January 16, 2008 at 10:32 am said:

    p.s. i would love to read those undergrad poems… i bet they’re amazing!

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