I haven’t abandoned my blog, but I have been v. b.z. and v. d.pressed. I will make a full comeback next week, but for now, here is a taste to whet your appetite.
MY DORKY DREAM
I am at the Jefferson Madison Downtown Regional Library, which will always be my favorite local library even though its employees occasionally play the game of “Lose the books Wistar returns and then hire a collection agency to send her scary invoices for $90.” I’m trying to make conversation with the librarians, but they are ignoring me. “Hey guys,” I say. “Did you see Art Garfunkel’s reading list in this week’s New Yorker? Who would have guessed?” Then I go looking for Martin Amis’s novel Money. But the fiction section isn’t where it used to be on the main floor! The fiction section is up three flights of stairs, and to get there I have to walk through a gift shop selling cheap jewelry and across a meditation area with chlorinated, 50-meter reflecting pools. And I keep cursing at all the people drinking Mocha Frappiatos and pawing through fashion magazines. “Shit,” I say. “Where are all the f-ing books?” Then a hot guy opens an unmarked door beside the coin-operated carousel and I see a sign for Fiction A-Am, and I am home.
Now who’s a bigger nerd, me or Art Garfunkel?