Your baby’s hungry. Your baby’s hands are cold and chapped.
Do you
a) remove your baby from the cold and let him gum yogurt, applesauce, or chunks of banana until his hunger pangs are soothed?
or
b) rub Victoria’s Secret lotion into your baby’s skin and then feed him rainbow mini marshmallows from a plastic baggie?
I’m not a mom. I don’t know what’s right. I don’t judge. I just happen to hang out at the same places as hungry babies: Saturday night sporting events, hotdog stands, ice cream shops, gun ranges, and marshmallow factories.
More and more smart babies are found on gun ranges, as ‘beginners targets’ for the uncoordinated. Happiness is a warm gun.