Daily Archives: March 5, 2008

You are browsing the site archives by date.

Fascinating piece of local news from the C-Ville Weekly

I am disturbed, bewildered, and perhaps a little inspired by a news item featured in this week’s C-Ville Weekly newspaper. Here’s what happened.

Best friends Jerald and Joseph were partying at Rivals Sports Bar & Grill one warm, average night last March. At Rivals they met their new buddies Sunshine, Big Mama, Candy, and “the Mexican.” The gang then caravaned downtown to visit the amply-stocked bars of the Atomic Burrito (RIP) and Miller’s. But Joe and Candy stayed in the car, presumably to hook up. When Candy passed out, Joe walked to the bar to meet Jerald, Sunshine, and the rest of his crew. But by then the crew had a new member – Joseph Ray.

As the night wore on, Joseph Ray and Joseph realized they didn’t like each other. On the crew’s walk back to the parking lot, this tension reached a violent crescendo. Despite Jerald’s best attempts to hustle his friend into a vehicle and prevent him from engaging in a drunken street brawl, Joseph Ray still managed to pull Joseph from his truck. Then “the Mexican” and Joseph Ray started “whooping” Joseph, who promptly curled up in a fetal position. Jerald saw that Joseph was being double-teamed so he ran around the truck and heroically defended his friend.

“If you know someone was a friend of yours,” Jerald said later, “you just ain’t going to let them get whooped up on without giving them some help.”

After Jerald broke up the fight by throwing Joseph Ray onto a parked car and elbowing him in the eyeball, the two best friends jumped back into the truck to make their getaway. That’s when Jerald realized that he had “a ball of guts” dangling from his body. Joseph Ray had apparently stabbed Jerald, causing his guts to dangle. Now the case is going to court.

Someone please alert John Grisham about the trial of the century.

In court, [Jerald] Gibson showed his scar. “I got stabbed right there and they had to go in and pull all my internals out and fix my insides.”

Jerald Gibson, I salute you and the lengths you go for your friends. I wish your guts a speedy recovery.

A book business insider discusses chick lit

I just found this Radar interview between Emily Gould and Sloane Crosley. Crosley is a New York-based book publicist whose first collection of essays, I Was Told There’d Be Cake, debuts next month. Sloane wins me over with her chick lit remarks reproduced below. Even though my first novel has only been published in my dreams, I still prepare myself mentally for the pink cover marketing blitz that will inevitably be attached to it (in my dreams). It’s hard to be a woman writing women these days without being branded a chick lit author, but Sloane has a healthy perspective on this lazy marketing strategy.

Radar: [Your story] made me think of your book as a sort of useful counterpoint to chick lit—like, “this is how it really is to be a single twentysomething girl in Manhattan; it’s not all madcap hijinx and Cosmos and love triangles” (though sometimes it is those things; rarely Cosmos). But you also must have been aware that you were treading into some heavily trafficked territory when writing about being a bad bridesmaid, etc. Are you wary at all of being lumped in with books on the pink shelf?

Sloane Crosley: It’s such a massive lump at this point. I might have been more worried five or 10 years ago when the concept was first being identified, coined, and marketed. But now it seems like if you just pick up a pen and have breasts (not that anyone I know is actually picking up pens with their breasts, in case that’s confusing), then people are predisposed to think what you produce as chick lit. And if it’s in the first person? Forget it. Since the stereotype has grown so widespread it’s almost pointless to be fearful of it. It’s out there, it sells a lot of perfectly good books to the people that want them, and there’s no getting around it. I know mine’s not the same, so hopefully it’ll be okay. For one thing, it’s the details of what an individual life is really like that can save a book from the Cosmo trap, especially in the essay format. Plus, it’s not like I have a giant martini glass on my cover with, you know, a miniature sparkling stiletto in lieu of an olive.

It’s funny, at Vintage we reissued Lorrie Moore’s Who Will Run the Frog Hospital? with a new cover, a decade after it was first published, and some tiny paper reviewed it as if it had just come out. It was fascinating because they condemned it as trafficking the same territory as the “pink shelf” books. And I thought, this is Lorrie Moore, damn it. How far have we let this thing get that there are to be no more plotlines about female friendships or the opposite sex or coming of age or self-reflection at all? I think the only way to avoid the label of which you speak would be to write a novel in which a woman sits in a room painted black, speaks to no one for 400 pages, and keeps a gun in one hand and a scotch-stained copy of The Executioner’s Song in the other. Even then, she’d probably have to use a pseudonym.

Everything an online social network should be

Congratulations to the brains behind the presumably fake Frrvrr.com.

Frrvrr uses cutting-edge technology to identify topics you might be interested in based on your browsing history, public records, health records, email activity, legal filings, and web profiles. Frrvrr then directs you to those topics and connects you with similar-minded people.

It’s enough to strike fear into the heart of every web surfer.

When you sign up, Frrvrr’s AvaTroll Accelerator™ will download itself onto your desktop and begin cataloguing your web history, or “webtory,” from the past eight months. Once it gathers all of your information, it creates a personalized avatar of you based on the snapshot of you gleaned from web usage and sites visited.

No one wants to look into that mirror. Frrvrr is the absurd conclusion to the booming personalization business. Technology will know you better than you know yourself. You’re not surprising anyone with your love for awfulplasticsurgery.com. That love was mapped out years ago when your web surfing algorithm incorporated your encrypted medical records. And incidentally, we think you’re gay.

Switching gears to another polemic

It was another big day for fraudulent memoirs.

I find it so interesting that authors keep lying about their real lives when they could just write fiction. Is there a huge difference between saying “I lived with a pack of wolves” or “I was a teenage drug pusher,” and “Jane Eyre lived with a pack of drug-addicted wolves”?

The fabricated memoir trend resembles the reality TV trend (can trends last a decade?). In reality TV, actual people become actors. The audience demands overweening drama. We* want reality to seem like the movies. And everything on the small screen is more compelling when it’s staged as “reality.” We are complicit in the lie, and yet we’re furious when we find out that the apparent spontaneity of reality TV is actually scripted.

Read More →