Glutton for sugar, then punishment

“Ms. Murray,” says the dentist, “are you sure you don’t want to split these four fillings into two appointments?”

“Hell no,” I say. “Recline my chair. Shoot me up with Novacaine. I’ve cleared my morning. Let’s do this.”

Fifteen minutes and five long needles to the mandible later, I’m listening to the dentist’s iPod playlist through headphones and settling in for three hours of drilling and filling.

“You guys are doing awesome,” I say to the doctor and his Russian assistant. I close my eyes and feel the cool water of the technician’s hose mist my cheeks. The fresh water has mingled with my saliva and I am lightly showered with all the fluids in my mouth. I breath in the tooth decay being vaporized by the drill. I feel the corners of my mouth crack with the pressure of the suction hose. I tap my feet to the bad country music coming through the headphones.

“This is even better than getting my wisdom teeth taken out,” I think, “and that was pretty great.”

2 Thoughts on “Glutton for sugar, then punishment

  1. I just recently visited my dentist after a year and a half hiatus from dental insurance. And would you know that I didn’t have a single cavity? I’m better than you, Wistar … clearly.

  2. Yes, but at least my hard work was rewarded.

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