Your suspicions about my absence were correct

I’m sick. Sick, sick, sick. And I didn’t want to blog about it, but now I have no choice. Three days of sick.

Day 1 – Hey, I think I’m sick. What a novelty for a girl with a superior immune system. Am I sure I’m not faking it? Yes, I think so. I claim this couch for lounging.

Day 2 – I feel worse. I’m not going to blog about it. Sick-blogging is ranked down there with cat-blogging. I claim this bed for coughing on.

Day 3 – The sickness seizes my throat and the space behind my eyeballs. I drink orange seltzer water. I play with my sister’s new puppy. I finally cave and take medication. Nothing seems to help. I suddenly feel compelled to reach out to everyone on the internet and tell them how sick I am. I claim this blog for your sympathetic reactions.

But no sick-blog can beat Waldo’s epic sick-blog from 2006:

My throat is clogged. It’s as if I’ve swallowed a drain plug. Every gulp is conscious, difficult, near-desperate, the flailing of a decked fish. . .

When I cough, the plug reveals itself to be an oversize rusty bolt, tearing at a shredded windpipe. I fear I might blow it out. I half expect that when next I clutch at my burning throat I’ll come away with a handful of neck-flesh.

I realize now that sickness separates the true bloggers from the internet so-and-so’s, the wheat from the chaff. If you have not yet blogged about your runny nose and your aching internals, you are obviously a dilettante – you probably don’t even own your own domain name. It took me eight months and almost 300 posts to get here, but now you finally get to see me blow snot rockets.

6 Thoughts on “Your suspicions about my absence were correct

  1. Too sick for a puppy to make you feel better? That’s rough.

  2. I know! No matter how many times she licked my face and peed in the grass, I was still sick.

  3. Christos on March 18, 2008 at 10:44 pm said:

    awww… baby, i’m sorry you’re sick. just wait til you get depressed, then you can blow them away with a “depressed” blog.

  4. Since you’re not feeling well, I’ll pardon the affront to the cat-blogging community and wish you a speedy recovery. Because I like you. Like their infected authors, there certainly are a lot of unsavory posts going around. Feel better. : )

  5. i was wondering where you were. No gym sightings. No coffee house run-ins. No blogging…my days felt so lonely.

    Could you have strep throat? The throat thing sounds ominous, and I know those germs are making their way around local treadmills and cross trainers…

    Feel better, lovely.

  6. Thanks, guys.

    When my mom stopped by yesterday to bring me daffodils and a puppy (yes, I am spoiled), she also shined a flashlight down my throat. She said it might be strep. I think I have turned a corner today, however. I put on some pants. I replied to some emails. I might even take a shower. At this rate I could emerge from quarantine by Memorial Day.

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