The Blog of Wistar Watts Murray

I respect Hollywood couple Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy for writing an intelligent article about autism, even if it does end with an unnecessary exclamation point. It seems that McCarthy’s five-year-old son Evan is one of the children who has “recovered” from autism through a strict food regiment. Yes, the connection between childhood vaccines and autism is still very controversial, but McCarthy has a point that something environmental is obviously triggering this condition. That unknown agent needs to be explored in full, no matter what the corporate consequences. So I never thought I’d say this, but kudos to Jenny McCarthy. “Where’s the cavalry?” she asks. “Where are all the doctors beating down our door to take a closer look at Evan?” Good question.

I’m the new male genitalia correspondent for the Virginia Quarterly Review! Best literary blog in the world! On its way downhill starting today! Unless they fire me!

1. If you’re applying to an MFA program at a prestigious university affiliated with Thomas Jefferson, perhaps the fiction you submit shouldn’t be about the following:

a) oral sex

b) dildos made out of balloons

c) shit smell

In case there’s anyone else out there who didn’t know that intuitively, consider this cautionary tale my gift to you.

2. If a big-name New York literary agent tells you that MFA programs are a waste of time, and then two days later you are rejected from an MFA program, guess who is your new hero.

3. Don’t waste your time being hateful, just find out how to be employed during the 08-09 academic year.

4. The best revenge is blogging for the VQR, my spectacular new gig.

5. The second best revenge is curling up on the couch for two hours. That’ll show ‘em! Yesterday I babysat Tula, my sister’s puppy, and she was so happy eating my slipper and peeing in the grass and sniffing dead worms while I miserably buried my head in the couch cushions, and I thought, “There’s probably a life lesson in here somewhere.” But no, in fact there wasn’t. I took Tula home so I could grieve in peace.