You know I’m reluctant to post about my personal life. . .

But I just discovered that my rival blogger (btw, Nate, you’re my rival blogger) posted about the wedding reception we both attended on Saturday night in Richmond. Nate already gets more web traffic than I do, so I don’t think he should have an exclusive on the party. Then again, he was a better-behaved guest:

  • Nate and I both changed our clothes halfway through the reception. I changed from an uncomfortable skirt and sweaty top into skinny jeans. Nate changed into an Elvis costume and serenaded the bride and groom. Guest advantage – Nate.
  • Nate and I both have websites. His website features pictures of naked hipster girls (nsf), which wrangles him invitations to the AVN Awards Show in Las Vegas. My website features book news, which once wrangled me an invitation to the Authors’ Reception on Carr’s Hill. Guest advantage – Nate.
  • Nate is actually a sweet guy behind his sleazy Elvis facade. I am actually a sleazy Elvis behind my sweet girl facade. Guest advantage – me.
  • Outside the reception, Nate and I saw a man simultaneously driving a minivan and shaving with a disposable razor. He had a towel, shaving cream, and by the time he was done, the cheeks of a pre-pubescent boy. Guest advantage – both of us.
  • Because we have quite a few mutual friends, Nate knows dirty secrets about my past. At the reception I drank enough to blurt dirty secrets about my past to anyone who would listen. Guest advantage – my dirty past. (My dirty past is now grounded and no longer accepting party invitations.)

But the party was not about me [Onestarwatt! Huzzah!] and Nate [Driven by Boredom. Boobs. 🙁 ]. The party was about Jamie and Laurie. Unfortunately for them, they don’t have blogs of their own. Newlywed suckaz!

3 Thoughts on “You know I’m reluctant to post about my personal life. . .

  1. I know that Can’t Help Falling In Love is not called Fools Rush in. Advantage me.

    Also, if by “anyone who would listen” you mean one of my closest friends on Earth, then yes I did that.

    I am going to blog about that shaving guy today as well. That shit was too amazing for words.

  2. I think I always knew that you were right about the Elvis song. You are the kind of guy who does his homework before an impersonation. Anyway I don’t really care about Elvis or Elvis trivia. I just care about being proved smarter than you. I will have my revenge.

    I bet Barry doesn’t know that my fat ass broke your chair once. That’s a freebie for him. He has now unwittingly and unwillingly become an expert on my life.

    If you blog about the shaving guy, I am going to one-up you later with another blog post about the shaving guy.

  3. Pingback: Driven By Boredom 3.0 » Archive » Stuck In VA

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