Archive > May 2008

10 tips for dating a writer

1. Try not to speak in sound bytes, because they will be stolen. 2. Would you interrupt a supercomputer when it’s cracking a code? Would you interrupt a jumbo jet when it’s refueling? Then don’t interrupt a writer when she or he is napping. 3. Sometimes it seems like your writer boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t [...]

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An ode to her amputated leg

The truncated calf springs upward as if summoned by the ceiling. Mom said it’s like a teenage erection, bounding from the hospital gown– a body part under no one’s control. So grandma’s got a stump now. And she can’t harness or subdue it like the horse she once cantered, her two legs gripping the girth, [...]

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Strange coincidence, or the universe telling me I should kill a cheerleader?

I am surprised that my 300th blog post slipped by without anyone sending me chocolates or balloons. But I am equally, if not more, surprised that I unintentionally wrote my 300th blog post (according to my blog stats) about R.L. Stine writing 300 novels. Spooky, huh? What if this whole blog has been the first [...]

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Veronica Mars, I accidentally lived your life instead of mine

I just finished watching Season 3 (the final season) of Veronica Mars. I would have watched that TV show until the lead actress Kristen Bell died of old age. I would have consumed every second of Veronica’s life until her funeral, and then I would have looked down and discovered that my own hands were [...]

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The VQR’s sloppy seconds plus a clubhouse grand opening

Whenever I write a post for the Virginia Quarterly Review, a little voice in my head tells me that I’m neglecting my personal blog. So I come here to write, but then I realize that I blew my whole wad on the VQR. So I try to buy back my post, but the VQR is [...]

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“I have written 300 books with this finger”

Even though I skipped R.L. Stine and went straight to Stephen King before I cut out the middlemen and just started murdering cheerleaders myself, it sounds like Stine gives good tea.

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Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking and how it relates to my own life

Makes me miss my people before they’re gone. Makes we want to document more moments like this: The bbf and I kick a blue rubber ball around the yard after his long day at work and my colossal afternoon nap. I collapse on the grass. “I’m exhausted from all this soccer,” I say. “I think [...]

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The homeless, hipsters, and the marriage of style icons

Gawker is compiling a guide to “New York’s modern eccentrics.” The list includes Mr. Purple: Is Mr. Purple from the Upper West Side still around? I first saw him in 1978 on West 86th St. He wore flowing purple robes and a live boa constrictor wrapped around his neck and waist and he rode a [...]

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Highlights and lowlights of my four-day workweek

Monday – I considered committing an egregious act of email stalking. The boy thought he shook me and my obsession years ago when he graduated college and moved across the county, but no, I still Googled him the morning after he appeared in my dream. I assumed that he’d want to know about us hanging [...]

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