This heat is so oppressive

Good thing I was invited to a birthday party serving ice cream cake. We all gathered at my parents’ house to watch two brothers and a grandmother blow out the candles in 100-degree weather. My sister’s dog was all like, “I’m from the mountains. I can’t deal with this heat index. Someone shave my long, furry legs.” And my little brother was like, “A fleece jacket is not a very seasonal birthday present,” and we were like, “It’s a bathing suit. It will go with your swimming jeans.” And I was like, “Family parties are fun and all, but I wonder if I received any important Facebook messages in the past two hours.” And my dad wrapped a Ziplock bag of jelly beans in fancy paper and was like, “Happy birthday, Mom.”

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