Animals!
1. They’re bisexual, especially in captivity.
2. They’ve enjoyed a short history of radical human advocacy.
3. They would prefer it if you didn’t touch them there.
4. But if you do touch them there, at least make flan afterwards.
Animals!
1. They’re bisexual, especially in captivity.
2. They’ve enjoyed a short history of radical human advocacy.
3. They would prefer it if you didn’t touch them there.
4. But if you do touch them there, at least make flan afterwards.
The Chimp and the Woman
by Sean Cullen
There was an old woman who lived alone
No one called her on the telephone
She went into the woods one day
Found a young chimp, who had gone astray
She took that little primate home
So she wouldn’t have to be alone
They spent the winter together
Warm in their love, despite the harshness of the winter weather
The chimp and the woman
Living together in a house of stone
The chimp and the woman
They made that house a home
The chimp and the woman were happy there
The chimp was safe; the woman had found a friend
But when the townsfolk heard of this bizarre affair
They said how could she love a creature that is covered with hair?
They came with axes and torches
They burnt the front and back porches
They kicked in the door
Shouting “Death to the chimp-loving whore!”
But she was gone; no one knew where they went
Years went by, the world spun around
Then one day a strange creature walked into town
It came in from the wild
It was a half human half chimp hybrid child
And it said: I am the chimpy child, on whom fortune has smiled
If we could live in peace, then all hatred would cease
If we could live with love, with blessings from up above
If we could just hold hands, then maybe we’d understand
And the people, the people…
They beat him to death with a rock.