Harper’s receipt from Build-a-Bear reads like her mother’s worst nightmare

CUDLY HGS TDDY PK                                         $14.00
SPRKL FUR EARBAND                                        $2.00
SLVR GLITTER HEEL                                           $7.50
GLITTER PURSE PNK                                          $3.00
WHITE DRESS                                                    $10.00

Darren and I entered Build-a-Bear Workshop with a four-year-old girl and high expectations, and we left Build-a-Bear Workshop with a furry pink bridezilla wearing a lace veil and bear high heels who had aspirations to marry “Johnny,” the bear back home.

At least she didn’t want the one with the Hannah Montana wig and charm necklace.

11 Thoughts on “Harper’s receipt from Build-a-Bear reads like her mother’s worst nightmare

  1. the mother on January 4, 2009 at 4:14 pm said:

    Dear Author of My Worst Nightmare, It just occurred to me that she is literally trying to construct a frankenstein of you (the real bride) and Bridezilla, the female arm wrestling champion from CLAW who happens to be her favorite and who happens to be screaming “Johnny!!!!!” every 3 seconds. I still don’t know what it all means. But thanks for feeding the frenzy. Sarcastically, your sister-in-law

  2. #1. I LOVE your new blog look—it’s beautiful and very easy to readh for old folks, of which I am one.

    #2. Should I be shopping for a “Johnny” bear?

    #3. The list above is hilarious—oh, how I would love to have watched the whole thing take place.

  3. Oh Ma Gah!
    You did WHAT?!
    You are lucky you’re so damn cute, missy.

  4. my mom would’ve forced me to make the cudly hgs tddy a woman truck driver, delivering sprkls to zptsta bears… and then bought my brother a peaches n cream barbie to rankle me and my gender biases. so, harper’s a pretty lucky kid in that sense. i’m sure i have a toy truck around here somewhere if you want it though?

  5. This is hilarious. I got bilked for a monkey in a leather motorcycle jacket – it has since gone the way of all expensive but ESSENTIAL toys, bottom of the closet.

  6. A sympathetic mother on January 27, 2009 at 2:31 pm said:

    Mimi and J took Iris for her 4th birthday. She came home with a bear whose fur is the color you would vomit after eating glitter and washing it down with Pepto and grape lollipops. This bear was also wearing a D—–y princewhore tee, hot pink culottes, and shiny pink pumps, and carrying a glamorous straw clutch. I’ll get you for this, Auntie Mimi. Your day will surely come.

  7. Oh crap. Now I’m afraid that when we aunts have our own kids, you and Jen will train them for toddler beauty pageants as payback. Even if they’re boys. Even if they look fat in swimsuits. Even if – god forbid – their talent is glitter vomiting.

  8. Anonymous on March 30, 2009 at 6:40 pm said:

    what is this world coming to and hey gals this is niko alexander call me at 7215860

  9. Sammie on April 21, 2009 at 6:01 pm said:

    niko is a dip s*** and a liar lol

  10. Sally on April 21, 2009 at 6:02 pm said:

    u prove it. call it!LOL!!!

  11. Pingback: Luca Lapp

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Post Navigation