Then he stole candy from a baby

malibu-bike

Williamsburg, Brooklyn

I can just see the thief sneaking out under cover of night. “This rube left her Malibu bike chained to the lamppost. I am so going to steal it.” But he gets there and the chick has secured her bike to the post with a Kryptonite U-Lock. The bike won’t budge. He hears sirens so he quickly disengages the pink seat and the training wheels and the handlebar bell with streamers and takes off with them into a back alley. The 3-year-old girl leaves her brownstone the next morning, curses when she sees the fate of her Malibu, and resolves to leave the looted bike chained to the lamppost as a lesson to other kids in her neighborhood.

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