Category > Delicious foods presented as gifts

Cooking with Butter

“Who are the real writers?” asks the author of Cooking with Butter (unpublished 2012, 2013). What are they cooking with? What superior foods lubricate their baking dishes and frying pans? How do they manage to flavor without butter, my accent ingredient? Is it wrong to obsess about the cookbooks of other authors? What makes them [...]

Continue reading

Hey birds, come feast on this block of food

So far the birds in the backyard have not started flocking to the block of food I provided for them. I don’t know what their problem is. I happen to love blocks of food, especially in wintertime. This bird meal cost me $7, and it’s basically a family-style lasagna. If any birds are reading my [...]

Continue reading

Wait for it. . . an eating video game!

Video games enable people to do their favorite things: shoot guns, steal cars, play golf in the living room. So what about a video game – or even an online application – that lets you eat all the delicious food that you want without ingesting any calories? Instead of a handheld console with ten zillion [...]

Continue reading

It’s wacky food day at One Star Watt

Wacky food #1: Spaghetti tacos (via a guy I met at a party) Wacky food #2: Vodka gummy bears (via Neatorama)

Continue reading

Slaughterhouse Highway

The road from Charlottesville, Virginia, to Columbus, Georgia, should be renamed Slaughterhouse Highway. Every other vehicle on Route 29 South is a truck carrying livestock to their imminent deaths. Yesterday I saw blonde chickens with breasts pumped so full of water they could hardly stand upright in their cramped metal cages. I saw cattle stomping [...]

Continue reading

Foods currently in season in Portugal

1. Oranges 2. Nectarines 3. Sea snails

Continue reading

A few links about critters and the people who love them

Animals! 1. They’re bisexual, especially in captivity. 2. They’ve enjoyed a short history of radical human advocacy. 3. They would prefer it if you didn’t

Continue reading

Satisfying sound of the day

A fresh bagel, hurled by a bagel-boy, hitting the side of a car filled with college chicks. Thwap!

Continue reading

The perils of drinking until you set the noodles on fire

The last time I made the freshman “cooking while drunk” error was five years ago when I lit spaghetti on fire after an evening of karaoke in Northern Virginia. But last night I really wanted macaroni, and macaroni wanted me. But I only got as far as boiling a pot of water before the house [...]

Continue reading

Someone help me cut this sandwich diagonally

Actress Brittany Murphy is causing problems on the set of her new movie, according to Page Six. “She’s extremely difficult. When she gets to the set, it comes to a grinding halt. She’s so hot and cold, you never know.” According to our sources, Murphy insists on having diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches [...]

Continue reading

prev posts