Category > Grand and historic proclamations

Swab talk

For my grandparents’ 90th birthday, we got them Genographic Project kits, which analyze your DNA to determine where your earliest ancestors came from. In order for the science to work, they have to take two saliva samples eight hours apart with the provided swabs. Which brings me to my punchline. I now have the title [...]

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MFA writing programs: an exposé

In May I completed my first year of a two-year MFA fiction program, and so concluded the best and worst year of my life. If someone close to you has the nerve to die, I recommend surrounding yourself with sensitive writer-types. They will email you with words of comfort, they will hold your hand when [...]

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Life from inside the box

I am officially a square. The evidence: 1. I was hit with an egg at a street carnival. 2. I intern in an office where water cooler gossip revolves around who is going to win the Nobel Prize in Literature, Joyce or Cormac. 3. I notify teachers of typos in the books they assign. 4. [...]

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The new, gregarious me

It has recently come to my attention that I am no longer shy. I say this because in the past week I have made friends with a cable guy from Algeria, a chocolate shop owner from Iran, a grad student in business at Vanderbilt, a couple chefs, a painter from Croatia, a West Side boy [...]

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The cosmic cure for nailbiting

I have been a nailbiter since I was very young. Sometimes I attribute this to the same sort of neurological anomaly that makes small children sniff glue or pregnant women eat dirt. On good days I think, “I am like a momma chimp picking lice out of her baby’s hair, except I am both momma [...]

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In which my husband solves the newspaper publishing crisis

There’s been a lot of chatter lately about the future of journalism residing in “hyperlocal” news. Hyperlocal news steps in where the doomsday scenario leaves off: Newspapers fire experienced writers, writers have no place to go, newspapers die out, the end is nigh. Yet we still crave news that is streamlined and directly relevant to [...]

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What – I can’t blog from hell?

Lately I’ve been thinking about what will happen to my blog and my Facebook account after I die, so this CNN article, “New services promise online life after death,” is timely.  Maybe I will create a cyber will. I hereby bequeath my Twitter status updates to my husband. I hereby bequeath my Bookreads account to [...]

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In which I solve the publishing crisis

A few months ago I was having dinner with a friend, her billionaire husband, and some other glamorous people (sometimes I run in these circles just to shake things up). We were talking about the nation’s financial troubles. I felt more and more complacent as the conversation turned to stock losses, bankrupted companies, and subprime [...]

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New site design makes me feel urban

Maybe we can feel urban together.

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Two Thousand Mine

Last year I had to share the spotlight with the following: 1) a heroic turtle 2) a rapper and his meme 3) some buzzwords 4) a hard rock fighter pilot 5) Chicken Cheeks 6) car accidents 7) sadistic devices 8 ) my husband’s genius 9) Asses of the World 10) conflicting advice about my blog [...]

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