Dearest readers,
You may have heard rumors about my selling the Cuisinart, buying a plane ticket to the Old World, and alighting on that continent for the remainder of the summer.
The rumors are true. The bbf and I leave for Cascais, Portugal, in a week. Do not try to follow me. Do not try to [...]
Category > Great things that I do from time to time
I am leaving you; don’t try to follow me
Someone just got a new non-paying job!
I’m the new male genitalia correspondent for the Virginia Quarterly Review! Best literary blog in the world! On its way downhill starting today! Unless they fire me!
Antiquated version of YouTube
YouTube 1.0 = Blogging about tonight’s episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos in real time.
Haha - That kid stuffed toy trucks down his pajama pants before he went to bed.
Haha - That dumbass fell off the roof.
Haha - That trick-or-treater dressed like Gumby tripped on his green legs and couldn’t get up.
I didn’t go ballistic at Ikea this time
Yesterday the bbf and I spent FIVE hours at Ikea shopping for a kitchen. Usually when I make the Ikea trip, it takes me exactly one hour to curl up on a floor model futon and cry, or drown my stress and misery with Swedish cinnabuns in the store’s food court. But this time I [...]
Celebrity flashback
Does anyone else remember the historic day last August when Perez Hilton announced he was 100% sure Fidel Castro was dead? I am thinking about adapting his blog post into a feature-length film, like War of the Worlds (based on a book radio hoax) or Pirates of the Caribbean (based on a theme park ride). [...]
Finally learning to trick out the blog
I chose this for my first hosted image. I know you understand.
Crushing and being crushed by the GRE
I took the GRE today. In Fairfax. Two hours away. During my naptime. And they wouldn’t let me bring my candy or my Chapstick into the room with me. And I had to ask for a key to use the bathroom, which I hate. And I felt all this pressure to “know things” and to [...]
I’m still blushing
I just discovered that my website is featured in my favorite local paper! I always read Nell Boeschenstein’s column because we seem to share taste in all things internet, so I was thrilled to be mentioned. Thanks Nell!
I have to mention that I was at Court Square Tavern tonight when I picked up the C-Ville, [...]
I am most brilliant when I’m sleepy
It was about 3 in the morning when I woke up with an exciting new perspective on human pollution. I thought, “Wouldn’t it be weird if people had special habitats for yawning and sneezing in the same way they have special habitats for peeing and defecating?” Like if someone was sitting at a dinner table [...]
