Another short and sweet post about arm wrestling
I give you the best multimedia feature about arm wrestling the Daily Progress has ever done.
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The Blog of Wistar Watts Murray
Archive for Local news that will revolutionize the world
Life lessons learned on April Fool’s Day
1. If you’re applying to an MFA program at a prestigious university affiliated with Thomas Jefferson, perhaps the fiction you submit shouldn’t be about the following:
a) oral sex
b) dildos made out of balloons
c) shit smell
In case there’s anyone else out there who didn’t know that intuitively, consider this cautionary tale my gift to you.
2. If a big-name New York literary agent tells you that MFA programs are a waste of time, and then two days later you are rejected from an MFA program, guess who is your new hero.
3. Don’t waste your time being hateful, just find out how to be employed during the 08-09 academic year.
4. The best revenge is blogging for the VQR, my spectacular new gig.
5. The second best revenge is curling up on the couch for two hours. That’ll show ‘em! Yesterday I babysat Tula, my sister’s puppy, and she was so happy eating my slipper and peeing in the grass and sniffing dead worms while I miserably buried my head in the couch cushions, and I thought, “There’s probably a life lesson in here somewhere.” But no, in fact there wasn’t. I took Tula home so I could grieve in peace.
Coffee - have you guys heard of this stuff?
I guess it’s a testament to my recent clean-livin’ lifestyle that I’ve been tripping for 12 hours from a single cup of Starbucks coffee. Coffee - this stuff makes you want to stay up all night and blog about your grandmother. Coffee - why didn’t I think of joining the NBA before? Coffee - is that a neighbor’s pet barking at 5 in the morning or is an angry dog waking up in my head? Coffee - is that a bird hurling itself into my window pane at 7 in the morning or is a flock of seagulls colliding with my skull? Also, I should install a pull-up bar in my office doorway and do somersaults around it forever.
It’s a Mimbo day
Nothing but blue skies and Mimbos. What is Mimbo, you ask? You can find out for $89.99. On the other hand, if the word “widgetized” means nothing to you, then Mimbo might remain a dream you will never realize.