Category > Minutiae

Thank god I can’t get fired from the Internet

I’m only a part-time employee, but still. Here’s what happened on Friday afternoon: I was waiting on the subway platform, and a wannabe rapper was freestyling a few trash cans down. For a while he maintained a decent flow, then he got stuck. He couldn’t come up with a verse to rhyme with “I’m unemployed [...]

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Beforehand

I want to write about the hand I saw in the subway car, how I was sitting in the corner of the train and the five fingers crept around the mirrored surface of the car in an odd, backward way. I remember that the nails were wide and the fingers themselves were thick and sturdy [...]

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New York Fashion Week 2009

In which I try to wear at least two items of Old Navy clothing per day.

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Scented toilet paper roll holder

Our New York apartment came with some IKEA shelving, a floor that had been treated with pomade, and a scented toilet paper roll holder. For a while I just thought my butt smelled really good, then I changed the roll and realized I’d been wiping from a Yankee Candle.

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The woefully misinformed are now armed. . . with chewing gum

From CNN’s Political Ticker: “I’ve got to give you some straight talk. Let me give you the state of the race today,” McCain told the crowd. “We have 17 days to go. We’re 6 points down. The national media has written us off…. But my friends in all this planning they forgot to let you [...]

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He’s still got it

Last night Letterman described McCain as a “screech owl.”

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Blogging Olympics

It’s not exactly the blogging Olympics over here, but things happen occasionally. I just discovered that the 10,000 Maniacs song “Because the Night” is actually a Patti Smith song. Thank you, VH1 Classics. I felt pity for our neighborhood derelict who huffs paint in the sun all day wearing a black hooded parka. I almost [...]

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Satisfying sound of the day

A fresh bagel, hurled by a bagel-boy, hitting the side of a car filled with college chicks. Thwap!

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You people are sick

I’ve put off doing this long enough. I now give you the various search terms that people have put into Google to find my website. These are all legit — straight from my stats page. “do grown men use baby wipes” “meth addict dating” “why are men afraid to have a baby?” “wife arm wrestling” [...]

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I’m not interested in becoming a reputable movie reviewer

Therefore I can admit that I am psyched about seeing 10,000 BC tonight at the cinemaplex near Taco Bell. From the moment I glimpsed a preview for this film about prehistoric mammoth hunters, I knew I had to see it in the theater. I feel like all the decades of improvements in film technology, CGI, [...]

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