Monday – I considered committing an egregious act of email stalking. The boy thought he shook me and my obsession years ago when he graduated college and moved across the county, but no, I still Googled him the morning after he appeared in my dream. I assumed that he’d want to know about us hanging out in my sleep. Luckily my girlfriends talked me down from the ledge and I never wrote the email. Stop following me, dude. Please. Enough already.
Monday II – I’ve got news for you, Most Expensive Restaurant in Town. People still go number two in your bathroom. You can’t fight the Wendy’s Combo that Monsieur Fancypants ate for lunch.
Tuesday – A member of my writing group told me that my submission was a cross between Jeanette Winterson and Marguerite Duras. Normally I’d have felt flattered at the comparison, but I’d been overdosing on Marilynne Robinson that day and I didn’t want to be associated with lyrical writers. After a while their books just feel like metaphor abuse. Or worse – onanism. Or worse – masturbation of underage analogies. [Damn! I can’t contain my lyrical nature!]
Tuesday II – Man at coffee shop kept borrowing my pen, then giving it back, and then borrowing it again. I told him he should keep it but he said it wasn’t the right kind of pen.
Wednesday – Watched some handsome fellows raise a tent. For a wedding. But the other gawking ladies told me I was too late: “You just missed J___ taking off his shirt!” One of those ladies was my mom. Tried to help with wedding decorations and mangled a boxwood. Talked about it in therapy.
Thursday – Attended the Emily Couric Leadership Forum luncheon. This year Erin Gruwell, the Long Beach high school teacher who started Freedom Writers, won the grown-up woman award. A dozen senior girls from local high schools were honored with the young lady leadership awards. Kayla Hansen, a Miller School senior, won the $10,000 scholarship. But don’t get too excited – she’s probably going to blow it all on college.
I love that our community produces such an ambitious and accomplished group of girls every year. And I love that the Emily Couric Leadership Forum makes a big deal out of them. I’m not sure if I knew what volunteering was in high school. I was too busy writing cool stuff on my ripped jeans.
I wish there were a mentoring program where confident, overachieving high school girls could adopt 27-year-old Big Sisters who are experiencing doubts about the sustainability of their artistic lifestyles. I would totally throw a luncheon for that.
Thursday II – Newborns at rock shows – yea or nay? Blogging on the couch while everyone else, including newborns, attend rock show – yea or nay? A related question – do sweatpants really deserve their bad reputation?
And now my cousin’s crazy wedding weekend begins! For three days I plan to leech champagne and to embrace being the kind of wholesome dork who likes partying with her family most of all.
