My neighbors just won $100,000 in the lottery! So now I have to remove my grandfather’s bumper sticker that says “The lottery is a tax on stupid people” and put up one that says “The lottery could have paid for my retirement if I hadn’t been so snobby about it.” [Love ya, Poppy.] I wrote down a bunch of tips for how to win, and now I’m going to start buying tickets every day at the liquor store. The next winner could be me! I think the chances of next door neighbors winning thousands in the same month are pretty high.
Morning Routine
Since Darren has a real job, working full time as web designer, and I have a fake job that involves lots of lounge-work, I have become interested in perfecting our morning routine. He gets up around 9 to get ready for work, while I occupy myself with sleeping. Then he kisses me goodbye around 10 minutes to 10, and turns on my bedside light, asking me what I’m going to do today. “Shh,” I say. “I am sleeping.” Then I hear him dawdling around upstairs, and I want to impress him with my productivity before he leaves the house, so I stumble to the kitchen in my pajamas (do not pass Go, do not brush teeth) and tell him I am ready to work. Then he finds me reading the CNN and Page Six websites in my office in the dark, and again he turns the light on me before kissing goodbye for the second time. Then I may or may not go back to bed. Then later in the morning I email him explaining that my vacation ends tomorrow and I am going to buy a dry erase board where I can write out my daily schedule, and this will change everything. Then I go looking for breakfast ice cream.