My boyfriend went to a movie

He went to a guy movie with some guys, and I am taking this opportunity to write about intestines. I realize this is not a great introduction to me, the chief blogger of my blogosphere. I am home on a Friday night, geeking out, fascinated by being published in the wilds of the internet. I get disappointed a lot because my mind leaps ahead. This blog is my big break. People are going to write me love letters. How do I stop myself from doing this? I’ve watched two special interest movies in the past month. The first was Carmen Electra’s Striptease Workout. I have never felt less sexy in my life. I had to push the coffee table aside, crowded with all its New Yorkers, Discover Magazines, Wired Magazines, Chinese takeout debris, and nonstick coasters, in order to prance around on the living room rug in workout gear, not realizing that every girl in the video was wearing an outfit. Who works out in knee-highs? Who works out with her finger in her mouth? I gave up when I realized Carmen couldn’t do anything in one take. There were more cuts in that video than ___blah blah funny metaphor__. But this brings me in a roundabout way to my point. The second special interest video that I watched this month was The Secret. This movie was forced on me by two women in my writer’s group as well as my college friend who writes a sex advice column in Barcelona. The Secret is basically the new god of good parking places and cash money. You envision what you want and the universe provides you with it. So from The Secret’s point of view, I am not being ridiculous by believing this blog will provide me with love letters. But from my boyfriend’s POV (to use writerspeak), The movie was decent and dudes are cooler than chicks and you did what with your evening? So I’m going to quit lusting for a blog audience and envision myself leaving the house and finding wine and friends, and not having a hangover tomorrow. It’s better to start with small, manageable goals, not with winning the lottery. And I have to write lots of entries on top of this so no one will be lazy or bored enough to skip all the way back. The fresher stuff will be better, I promise.

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