If I had known in advance that I was going swimming at the city pool this afternoon, I probably would not have had six beers last night and a cheese omelette/home fries/English muffin/french toast/Gobstoppers for breakfast. But if I had known that someone was going to take a crap in the city pool today, I probably would not have gone swimming. Darren and I discussed who might have taken the crap in the Washington Park pool. There must have been a hundred witnesses, all of whom had to evacuate the area promptly after the incident. Who took the crap? Was it a kid old enough to feel ashamed at being responsible for closing down the pool? Was it an oblivious toddler or baby whose parents had to suffer the wrath of all the other swimmers for not putting their kid in a swim diaper? The timing of the accident could not have been worse. There is a drought going on so it’s not like the city can just empty, sanitize, and refill the crappy pool. We’re all supposed to be conserving water. Summer is basically over now. At the Meade Park pool the lifeguards won’t even let you go off the diving board because the splashing depletes the water supply. You are only allowed to dive for ten minutes per hour, and the fat kids and I just had to make the best of it.
