Archive > September 2007

Saturdays in September

I went to a beautiful wedding yesterday, but with great beauty comes great anxiety. I sat in the church pew and thought of all the ways in which I might inadvertently ruin the bride and groom’s big day. During the ceremony I chewed a piece of gum, because I encountered no trash can at the [...]

Continue reading

Serial killers love diner food and Jolly Ranchers

I just stumbled upon this amazing site, detailing final meal requests from Texas death row inmates. If I had a million dollars, I would commission a psychological study based on this data. Why would Frank McFarland, who raped and brutally murdered a shoe shine girl, request: Heaping portion of lettuce, a sliced tomato, a sliced [...]

Continue reading

I am in the middle of all these books, and getting overwhelmed

I like them all, and it is my and not the authors’ failure that I have not finished them. But the stack is getting taller and I keep going to the library and I keep going on Amazon.com and now I have birthday gift certificates to spend. New books are constantly coming into my life [...]

Continue reading

I like it when the Bible ladies stop by the house

It makes me feel important, like they think my soul is worth saving. I told them I’d be sure to read the Bible and we could talk about it in a few weeks. I told them I’d swing by their church some Sunday. Two Jehovah’s Witness ladies came to my house a few years ago, [...]

Continue reading

I am kicking ass in our Netflix queue…

Not so much for the embarrassing stuff I’ve watched recently (I’m talking to you Terri Hatcher and Eva Longoria), but for what I have lined up. Today the BBC documentary Planet Earth arrived in the mail. Darren had never heard of it and I had only heard good things. Since we were neither starving nor [...]

Continue reading

People to hate on TV

Last night D & I shacked up at the Doubletree behind Sam’s Club for my birthday. [A Mitch Hedberg joke interlude: "Ah man I can't tell you what hotel I'm staying at, but there are two trees involved. They said, Lets call this 'something...tree', so they had a meeting. It was quite short. 'How about [...]

Continue reading

Birthday workout

Does it still count as a workout if you walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes and then climb back into bed in your gym shorts?

Continue reading

Libras love sitting on fences

Tonight I reread the first five chapters of my novel after a two-month sabbatical. During my vacation I had convinced myself that I needed to scrap the whole thing and start over, so I was pleased to find that it wasn’t QUITE as bad as I remembered. However it still needs loads of work, mainly [...]

Continue reading

Bad writing is killing the planet

I am allowed to write up to 50 pages to submit to my fiction class on Wednesday night. That comes to 15 bundles of 50 pages. That’s 450 pieces of paper, although to be fair I’ll probably print double-sided, so that’s 225 pages. But every student is going to submit 50 pages this semester, which [...]

Continue reading

The Room’s Husband

We toasted the room’s husband with plastic cups of champagne. The room’s wife had cake on her fingers. Someone wandered outside in the apple orchard. The camera over his shoulder was full of the sermon and the mountains. The lake had dried up that afternoon and the toilets stopped flushing. The children picked the apples [...]

Continue reading

prev posts