Death by port-a-potty: a story with a happy ending

This is something that happened to me today: I was driving home from Richmond with Abbey, daydreaming about wedding dresses, eating Junior Mints, naming my future children, when BAM! – the truck in front of us on I-64 lost part of the shit-shack it was towing and we swerved at high speed to avoid a spectacular death.

Everybody’s okay, in case you were wondering. The truck driver got off at the next exit and we resumed our conversation about Twilight or whatever and I feel confident that many more people will hold their noses in that port-a-potty in the future. But I’m still a little shaken. I’ve had near-death experiences in the past but they’ve never been so. . . stupid. This one had so many. . . poop connotations. It so much resembled the way I would kill off a hateful character in a novel that I wonder if someone wants me out of this awesome book.

I have good advice for how you can avoid this kind of tragicomic accident. 1) Do not giddily tailgate an unstable port-a-potty for 30 miles secretly hoping something crazy dangerous will happen. 2) Never hang out with me or Abbey.

5 Thoughts on “Death by port-a-potty: a story with a happy ending

  1. baconfat on December 16, 2008 at 10:45 am said:

    never hanging out with you or abbey would make for a truly sad and empty existence indeed.

  2. shenanigans on December 16, 2008 at 12:45 pm said:

    I have stupid NDEs all the time and I always think, “Dear gawd, don’t let me die like this, it’d be so embarassing.” I’m pretty sure dying in a Porta-potty accident would eclipse all your life achievements.

  3. So glad you made it out of that one! Did you have to react as fast as G.W. Bush did for the shoes being hurled at his head?

  4. Pingback: The Travels and Rants Journal » Shoes and Poops

  5. hehe. . . My dad called this “a weapon of mass defecation.”

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