I wonder how long it’s going to take my little brother to realize I’ve been blogging about him

Whenever he runs into me in our mom’s house, he’s like, “Oh hey, Wistar. Where’ve you been? Blogging?” All sardonic. And the more I deny it, the more he insists that I blog 24 hours a day, every day of my life, for nameless people in Brooklyn. I told him he could join me and my friend Leslie for dinner tomorrow night and he’s like, “Why? So we can all talk about blogging? No thanks.” And lately he’s been alternating his blog taunting with literary taunting, like, “What you doing today? Writing one of your novels?” He is such a bully. If he knew Stephen Hawking, he’d be going up to him all, “Wassup, Hawking? You doing your hipster physics? You got yourself some theories? By the way, I like your oversized, retro, prescription eyeglasses” [hehe, high fives]. Our situation is exactly like that. Meanwhile my brother is at the gym “getting his swell on” for the spring season, so I shall make fun of him from my secret hiding place on the internet.

Baby brother, you stink and your hair is too long. You’re probably not even the hugest guy on the lacrosse team. P.S. Hurry home I’m making quesadillas.

6 Thoughts on “I wonder how long it’s going to take my little brother to realize I’ve been blogging about him

  1. Awesome Me on January 6, 2011 at 9:31 am said:

    How come you don’t never blog about ME?! I can make fun of you, if it would provide grist for the mill. PS, Thank you for putting my 4 year old to bed via phone last night. That’s some mad skillz you got goin’ on there!

  2. You can write the first glowing testimonial for my babysitting by phone business! I stay home and get tipsy, then ring up your children and talk them into their beds. What could go wrong?
    P.S. All my poetry is about you.

  3. Awesome Me on January 6, 2011 at 11:33 pm said:

    I KNEW IT. Yeeeeessssssssss.

  4. When I said I missed your blog’s this is not what I was expecting. Funny, but not what I was expecting. You are an amazing writer, don’t ever stop.

  5. Thanks, Chris. It wasn’t what my little brother was expecting either, which is why I’m in trouble in these parts.

  6. Cat Woman on January 10, 2011 at 3:16 pm said:

    You’re making quesadillas? What time should I come by?

    You are so funny. When I talk smack about people on my blog, it’s usually biting.

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