Where have you been?
Nowhere.
What do you have to show for yourself?
Nothing.
What have you been reading?
Murders.
What have you been writing?
Executive shopping lists.
How has that been going?
Okay.
What’s your baby up to?
Not a baby, not a baby blog.
Who are you kidding?
What’s next for you?
Springtime. Renewal. Age-reversing serums. Excellence.
Alternatively?
More winter. More irrelevance.
How will we tell?
You won’t be able to! It will all look and feel the same!