I just sneezed while eating a mouthful of almonds and now my shirt sleeve looks like the top of an ice cream sundae.
Archive > October 2007
Let me preface this story by saying that Barack Obama gives a killer stump speech. If I go to a political rally in the cold, I expect a lot of high falutin’ promises, righteous anger at George W. Bush’s administration, and humorous yet telling anecdotes that will inspire me to clap my hands and hence [...]
I have spent the day in my hotel room in Williamsburg working on the book and eating junk food I bought from the gas station next door. That part was actually pretty cool. I can’t remember the last time I had a Pop-Tart. Now I’m watching Scary Movie 2, with Tori Spelling. I am looking [...]
I am going to my five-year college Homecoming, but ONLY so I can blog about it. Also it is rainy, dreary, and I am hungry for pancakes. This is the existential recipe for Williamsburg, Virginia. I have two friends who are also going to Homecoming, but they’re not appearing until tonight and tomorrow, respectively, so [...]
Today my cousin Everett and I were trying to scandalize Big Wis by showing her sexy Facebook photos of one of her grandchildren. Big Wis kept scowling at the little black cursor I was navigating across the computer screen. “I don’t understand how those varmints got into the computer,” she said.
While Bunny was falling asleep under the head lamp, I heard the stylists talking about the wildfires in California: “The fires were started by Middle Eastern terrorists. They are trying to bankrupt the country because they know we are already in debt from Iraqis and Mexicans.” I am afraid a Homeland Security guy in a [...]
“A small buffalo gets taken away by some lions. A group of crocodiles battle the lions for the buffalo. Then a herd of buffaloes come back and kick the lions’ ass.”
I’m trying to think of some good questions for the blogging boyfriend when I interview him soon for my website. I don’t want to shy away from the tough questions, like “Am I the prettiest girl in the world?” Most of you just know the bbf as the adorable guy who scores the winning soccer [...]
These pictures make it painfully obvious what a little foundation can do, but I have “straight from the shower into the underpants into the car” genes. I can’t help the way I was born. I also missed the shopping and shoes DNA. I am going to go ahead and start the rumor that my exquisite-looking [...]
I wish there was an appropriate segue here between my post about the vagina clown car and this post about a 97-year-old Polish woman who saved thousands of Jewish children from the concentration camps during World War II. But there’s not and there never will be, and that’s just how life is. Mrs. Sendler, code [...]