Virginia Safari Park

The Virginia Safari Park in Natural Bridge, VA is the saddest, most wonderful adventure you can take from an Interstate 81 exit. First, a photo essay:

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Hi, furry cow creature. Do you want to wipe your boogers on Darren’s hand?

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Look Harper! Baby piglets! We can just throw them some grain from this bucket and…

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Holy shit! Roll up the window!

This was actually our second trip to the park. The first time, on Gene’s birthday, we thought it was a good idea to safari in the back of a pick-up truck. I still cannot believe this is legal–we must have signed some incredible waiver when we bought our tickets. Darren was gored by a tusked beast while he was trying to feed an ostrich from his bucket. He still has a scar. This time, we took Harper in a tusk-proof Saturn station wagon. Without automatic windows, we had a few close calls, but mostly we just got snotted on. The zebras were isolated this year, which was fortunate. They will bite off your face if you give them a chance. No wonder Jared Diamond said they were immune to domestication.

Attempts have been made to train zebras for riding since they have better resistance than horses to African diseases. However most of these attempts failed, due to the zebra’s more unpredictable nature and tendency to panic under stress. For this reason, zebra-mules or zebroids (crosses between any species of zebra and a horse, pony, donkey or ass) are preferred over pure-bred zebras. (link)

Wow, that was distracting. So anyway we fed giraffes from our hand, pet pygmy goats, saw a kangaroo with an upside-down baby in her pouch, and whispered sweet nothings to an albino tiger cub. Whatever–I’m so over it. Step it up next year, Virginia Safari Park. I need a unicorn or a baby dragon or something. I can fondle llamas at home.

(More pictures…)

6 Thoughts on “Virginia Safari Park

  1. dominic on November 6, 2007 at 1:28 am said:

    i am totally naming my next imaginary band “the zebroids”

  2. it’s official: cows are cute!

  3. You fondle llamas? At home?

  4. bobby on April 26, 2008 at 1:36 pm said:

    how much does the safari cost?

  5. I think it costs around $10 a head, but sometimes you pay in flesh.

  6. Punkin on June 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm said:

    My husband and I have been to VA Safari Park twice. We love it. Where else can you get that close to animals you normally see in cages? It’s wonderful if you follow the rules. SUVs or higher trucks work best. The wagon ride is good too. None of the animals we saw had tusks – at least none that could reach you windows. The Waatusi cattle have long horns but the rules say not to feed them.

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