Archive > March 2008

Antiquated version of YouTube

YouTube 1.0 = Blogging about tonight’s episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos in real time. Haha – That kid stuffed toy trucks down his pajama pants before he went to bed. Haha – That dumbass fell off the roof. Haha – That trick-or-treater dressed like Gumby tripped on his green legs and couldn’t get up.

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The last ones to leave the party

I was just getting comfortable at last night’s Authors’ Reception when the caterers corked the wine and disappeared the casseroles and the party volunteers began nudging us toward the exits. Disappointed that the hobnobbing had come to an end, I gathered my things and stuck some silver into my purse (just kidding, Casteen), prepared to [...]

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Coffee – have you guys heard of this stuff?

I guess it’s a testament to my recent clean-livin’ lifestyle that I’ve been tripping for 12 hours from a single cup of Starbucks coffee. Coffee – this stuff makes you want to stay up all night and blog about your grandmother. Coffee – why didn’t I think of joining the NBA before? Coffee – is [...]

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Book Festival book reading controversy about books!

Today The Biological Imperative devotes an entire blog post to a stupid question asked by a bald man at a book reading. And I am glad. It was a silly question and it deserves to be ridiculed on the blogs. The set-up: Last night the blind professor, Selvi, and I threw back a few drinks [...]

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A Mashup of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road and L. Frank Baum’s The Wizard of Oz

A Mashup of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road and L. Frank Baum’s The Wizard of Oz The apocalypse comes to a small Kansas farm. Marauding witches terrorize survivors. Because women usually give up when faced with adversity, Auntie Em kills herself, leaving behind her young niece Dorothy and her little dog Toto. They are scared and [...]

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New website idea

I think there should be a website devoted to online content that moms find funny. Then they can stop forwarding said content to their children.

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I cannot believe nobody told me this stuff until today!

Bats are dying off?! Since when? Why didn’t anyone tell me?! This is unbelievable. I love bats! I could’ve been doing something to save them this whole time! An early species of hominid had giant brains?! And they were smarter than us and better looking than us and even their babies could probably remember the [...]

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Ponderous essays, paraphrased

Because I’ve been sick, I’ve only had the energy to bookmark what I would normally blog about. I am feeling stronger today, but the thought of posting anything lengthy makes my Streptococcus flare up. So here are some links – insert writerly charisma where appropriate: 1) Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris [...]

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Your suspicions about my absence were correct

I’m sick. Sick, sick, sick. And I didn’t want to blog about it, but now I have no choice. Three days of sick. Day 1 – Hey, I think I’m sick. What a novelty for a girl with a superior immune system. Am I sure I’m not faking it? Yes, I think so. I claim [...]

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I’ve been going about this book deal thing all wrong

Ashley Alexandra Dupre has her finger on the pulse. Hooker books sell.

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